If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize