Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
