he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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