and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
