his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
