I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
