you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
