I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
