Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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