If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize