I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
