i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
