Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
