38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
