remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
