I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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