I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
