Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
