My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
