it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
