The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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