Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
