Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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