Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Holy shit dude........stairs
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
