I wanna bring you to show and tell
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
