I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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