I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Randomize