addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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