I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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