Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
