foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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