The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Shitshow foam night was such a success
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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