my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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