i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
