Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
