I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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