Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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