I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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