3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
