I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
