He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
