You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
