I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
