soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
