like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
