So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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