The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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