Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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