Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
is that a dick in a sweater?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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