i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
