insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
