my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
