just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
