her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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