I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
