Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
