She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
