hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You're like the curious george of whores
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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