is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
