We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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