HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
